I remember you -- You're the lady whom if I ever met her in person, I'd wet myself in fear.

So, here's the progression. A friend tells me to check out Listverse.com -- I'd never been before. I do a search for the word "scariest" and find this list of scary Philipinno monster legends. Then I get to thinking about the Wendigo. Immediately that reminds me of Pet Sematary, and I wind up doing a Wiki search for that. I read the article, and then my eyes fall to the dreaded name.

Zelda.

Pet Sematary came out when I was in the 5th grade. I saw it in theater. I've seen it dozens of times since and I can get through all of it just fine, except for the parts that involve Raaaaaaachellll's sister Zelda. She's only onscreen for about one minute of the entire film, but in my entire life, I don't think I've ever found anything that put me in such a state of thick, miserable fright and revulsion as that one minute.

Against a tiny voice in my head whimpering, "please, don't do this to yourself," I Googled "Pet Sematary Zelda." To my momentary relief, there aren't any video links on the top page. There was, however a link entitled, "the scariest woman in the world and how i almost got over her." It was a good post - something I might have written, almost word for word. And there's a funny bit about his sister in there too.

"Momwife is walking up the stairs of their house [or was it the old neighbor-guy's house? p.s. the neighbor was played by the same guy who played Herman Munster. true story] and starts to hear someone calling her name: “Raaaachhheeellllll!”

She walks into a bedroom and her sister ZELDA is crouched down in the corner. She comes rushing up to momwife [aka right up to the camera] and begins yelling about how momwife will “NEVER GET OUT OF BED AGAIN!!!” after she threatens to “twist your back like mine”"

As I read, I could picture clearly Rachel advancing towards me from across a fisheye room, and I literally shrank back from my computer screen -- and bear in mind, I'm just *reading* about it. I'm not even watching it by this point.

I still haven't watched it. I'm going to right now. Join me, why don't you?



[shudder]

Now why on earth did I just do that to myself?

OK, Bedtime!